This month’s essay is dedicated to reflecting on May.
I started this monthly essay as an ode to one of my favorite Instagram trends. I paused in April because the month was insanely chaotic and filled with personal moments I wasn’t ready to reflect on publicly. I’ve taken a break from writing here because the things I genuinely want to write about, I feel I can’t. Several subscribers are part of my personal life, as my mom tends to share my essays with others. I’m grateful that she finds my essays compelling enough to share. Still, I started writing here to reflect and share my truths and experiences unabbreviated, unconcerned with the fear that my truth may cause conflict with theirs. I’m working to get back to writing unapologetically because writing here is an act of self-care and self-love. I enjoy sharing my truths, reflections, and life learnings with others. It’s even more rewarding when someone lets me know I’ve helped put words to internal feelings they struggled to articulate.
May was equally chaotic at work. I work in marketing as a strategy specialist. When my mind analyzes metrics, evaluates tactics, and makes strategic recommendations to clients to help them get the most out of their marketing strategies, I pause my emotions and reflections because strategic work is all mental for me.
June will be my earnest attempt to get back into writing, creating a posting schedule, and carving out time to write intentionally. But to get back into the swing of it, I am coming back with a May Dump - a trend I love on social media.
Moments & Experiences:
Before this year, when work was chaotic, I would lean in until the chaos calmed down. This year, I’m working on finding a work-life balance (? I question if this even exists, or is it another unattainable wellness goal that has turned into a coined marketing scheme for society?) and what does it look like if I care a little less - what if I choose not to panic because I didn’t make it through my to-do list? What if I work 9-5 pm and shut my laptop down for the day at 5 pm? What If I disconnect from work, mute notifications, and do not respond to 7 am slacks? Disconnecting from work has been challenging the past two months, but I’ve intentionally made plans that have allowed me to disconnect and explore myself and wellness more.
As silly as it sounds, one of my favorite “experiences” from the month was playing in makeup. I am a creature of habit. I have a signature makeup routine that never fails me. But this month, I explored other colors in the palette I always use, tried other blushes in my collection, and experimented with different techniques. It was fun! It brought me back to when I was first obsessed with makeup and felt this incessant need to buy every new product launch.
I also FINALLY went to the local RH Rooftop in my city. It’s not better than the Chicago location, but I understand why influencers love to take content there.
I had to say “goodbye” to someone who was like a little sister to me. Goodbyes have never been easy for me and only got more complicated with my dad’s passing. Instead of staying home like I wanted, I faced the challenge head-on. It wasn’t easy, and I still have lingering fears… maybe I’ll write about this next.
Affirmations for the Summer:
I saw a content creator recommend creating a vision board specifically for summer. I instantly fell in love with this idea. I create monthly “crazy faith lists” that allow me to realign my goals, see God’s activity in my life, and see his work in the long run. But, I wanted to create a vision board to visualize my summer because, I’ll be honest… I get anxious during summer. Society’s narrative of summer has never really been my reality. Summer 2021 was my BEST summer and closest to the predominant narrative society perpetuates. Last summer certainly didn’t go as hoped for or planned. So I feel it’s important for me to create affirmations that I can return to, and I wanted to share them with you in case they resonate:
My portion is significant, and I will explore and chase after my portion.
My heart is open to hope again - for new and more. That is the starting place.
My mind is healthy as it casts burdens on the one meant to carry them. Casting my burdens will allow me to be more creative, joyful, and peaceful.
My soul is free - ready for opportunities and adventure.
This summer is a season to be unexpectedly surprised by goodness.
This summer is a season of balance.
I allow myself to choose and do what is best for me, my growth, my wellness, and my walk on this earth.
Favorites:
Biolage Matrix Color Last Shampoo: Last summer, I went blonde, and it was one of my best decisions. For years I had dark hair with subtle highlights. In 2021, I went to get my highlights touched up, and the stylist took me way too blonde, with little dimension. I went to another stylist for a color correction. Traumatized from the experience and the amount of money I spent, I let my highlights grow out until last summer. I looked in the mirror and didn’t feel I physically represented who I was mentally and spiritually.
After researching a stylist, I found someone with curly hair themselves, the initial builder of trust. I sat in her chair and showed her pictures of what I wanted and didn’t want. She started me off with a modest take on my inspiration pictures. I was appreciative because it gave me time to decide if I wanted more color. I went back for more highlights and fell in love with my hair.
With this shampoo, I didn’t have to go back frequently for toning sessions or invest in a purple shampoo. I highly recommend this shampoo if you have color-treated hair.
AND YES, salon-grade products assist with your hair's integrity.
Aspire Energy Drinks: I recently started working out 1-2 times a week again. Last summer, I used Alani Nu as my pre-workout and for energy when I needed an extra boost at work. I recently found Aspire on Amazon and enjoyed them. They’re all natural and have a variety of flavors to choose from.